Make it Happen - A service User's View (aged 15)
On a Friday afternoon I’d normally be mucking about with my pals. We’d either go out and have a laugh or stay in at mine and play on the Xbox. I’d beat them all. Car games mainly. Sometimes if I’m on my own I might be on the laptop – doing MSN and Bebo.
Not today though. Here I am instead thinking about the last few years and how things have turned around now. It’s gone from bad to good.
Everything had been building up and getting to the point where I couldn’t stay in that house any more. People were damaging the building…lighting fires. We were the only ones left in there. I’d been getting involved too; smashing windows, hitting people. I thought I was part of the gang and it was cool to do it, but it was just stupid.
I got charged for assault. The police came to the house. Someone had told them what I’d done. It was quite scary. I felt empty inside and after they’d gone my Dad went radge at me. It was all getting to the point where my Mum couldn’t take it any more. She got talking to the police and I ended up meeting up with Mark. He came to our house and we were just talking in the living room. He was like “I’m here to help you, but not just you; your Mum…your wee brother.”
Looking back on it, those times went on for 3 years. It was stupid. It felt like a black hole …I was getting sucked down but then I popped back up and now it feels better. It’s all changed. I’m not in trouble with the police. I’m not hanging around with stupid people. I’ve lost weight.
How did I do it? I just thought to myself, “Why are you doing stuff like that?!” Mark told me to do the right stuff. Like going to clubs. I had a choice.
I went to the Youth Café – it was quite good; there was a dance bit, an X Box, Wii and a laptop and a bit where you can buy things. It was good for a while but then I had stopped going because of an incident. I might go back next week though.
Mark’s just let me start anew. Could I have done it on my own? Maybe but he’s given me more confidence, more perseverance. I believe in myself more. I can get out and meet new people; make new friends. As for school….well I wasnae going to school so much. Now I’m enjoying it more. I like English, Home Economics, CDT, Chemistry. And I’ve met new friends. That’s made it a lot better.
Moving house helped a lot. My wee brother was hanging about with stupid people too. Now that’s changed. But it’s not just been about moving. It’s been about having someone too. It’s helped all of us. My Mum sees me as a better son. I was bad to her before; always in moods and getting into trouble. Now life is different, it’s better and I dinnae need Mark as much ‘cos things have changed.
If we were still living in the area where those people are we might still have problems. But now I’ve got other people, other friends.
What else is different? My weight. I want to tell you about how I’ve changed. I was a lot heavier, but even recently I’ve lost 6lbs in 6 weeks.
I’ve been going to the gym. Once a week doing the treadmill, the weights, the rowing machine and the bikes. It’s made me feel healthier. It’s like a new me.
I’ve been going out more too and I’ve changed the way I’m eating.
Instead of a packet of crisps I’ll pick up an apple.
Instead of a burger I’ll have a ham sandwich.
Instead of going to the chippy I’ll make myself something like beans on toast.
I never used to eat salad; now I like it. My Dad got me into that; just trying a bit on the side, like with a lasagne or something. Things have got a lot better with him too. Our relationship is getting better. I was helping him at his burger van the other week.
I still want to lose more weight. No targets; I just want to gradually work away at it.
I’ve got life to where I want it to be. If I could meet myself 3 years ago, do you know what I’d say? “Wake yersel’ up. Turn yer life around ya stupid bum!”
Ain't it amazing how crazy the hood done made me
Feels like my emotions are froze
50 Cent G’D Up
(from Bulletproof Part 2)
If anybody asks you who I am
Just stand up tall
Look 'em in the face and say
I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey I made it,
I'm the world's greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the ropes
I can feel it,
I'm the world's greatest…forever
R. Kelly, The World’s Greatest
